Friends are friends are friends

Over the past few years I have fighting against the idea that my life is going to go through phases, that things are going to change and have already changed. In fact, I think I have hard to convince myself that things will always be the same, just slightly altered.

One of the great trials a friendship encounters is the test of time. With time, comes distance. I would be hard fought to find someone that lived in the same place for more than 20 years. Of course they exist, but rare. I don't think gossip, boys, or hobbies will create the greatest trials in a friendship. I believe a friendship has truly endured when it has "stood the test of time."

At the end of each summer at Camp Hammer, as a staff we talked about what it would look like to leave the "bubble" we were living in with our "best friends" and what to expect realistically with our staff friendships. Each first-timer chimed in, "I am excited to go home with 50 new best friends!" or "I can't wait to keep up these friendships by phone each evening!" However, each returning staff member would listen with a silent chuckle thinking about the hard reality the staff members would face when they realize they don't get to see each other each day. I stand firm in believing that I value each of those friendships as much as the next staff member. However, after a year you learn that your friendships are not determined by daily discussions or updates each week. Your friendships are alive because of the experiences you shared while you were together, and because there is still a hope that you will be together again one day. (If that sounds existential, maybe it is). There are probably 100 people out there that I worked with at Camp Hammer one summer or another and I have not talked to since--nor will I talk to them again in all likelihood. However, each time I think about them I cannot help but grin ear to ear with the thought of being with them one day. As for my friends from 2007, the joy of their presence lasts to this day as I imagine them visiting Santa Cruz in the near future to celebrate old times.

Outside of the camp realm, I have friendships that have faded as I moved away from Oregon. It has helped me realize who my strongest friends are--those that don't care whether I live in Santa Cruz or Timbuktu--we have shared memories that can never be taken away from us. There is no shame in a friendship that is alive based only on the memories shared. Do not be ashamed of these friendships. If you lose these friends, you will lose the memories as well.

My friend Jennifer and I have been friends since before we could talk. However, when we moved away to college, there became a great distance between us. It has never phased us and never will.

However, I have many friendships that I have tried to keep alive because I don't want to let go of certain time periods of my life. I believe this can create a barrier for my growth as I have refused to admit that life is different now and it will not be the same as it once was.

Ok, I am all over the place...any thoughts?