It's not that I don't appreciate what I have been given. I am grateful that I was able to move into town, and that I could finally afford moving into an apartment. And don't think that I am walking through life depressed everyday. In fact, I laugh quite a bit at work every day. Maybe some days I do get ridiculed for my less-than-designer clothes, or get the bird because of a misunderstood joke, but I wouldn't say that I am dying to put in my two weeks.
It's just that I never laid awake at night dreaming of working in a back office at Macy's. Working around fashion was a dream for me in high school when all I wanted was nice clothes and a trendy haircut to impress people. But I can't imagine I'll feel good in five years looking back on the time I invested in Macy's, and thinking of all the lives I changed through my "outstanding" recruiting skills.
I wasn't built for this. I truly believe God designed me for something more, to actively be a part of the church and use my creativity and heart for community to build a group of people striving to bring heaven on earth, striving for a restoration of our fallen creation, striving to know the heart of God.
...and then I step off the soapbox in my empty room to realize that if I am so impatient, unsatisfied, and arrogant (?) about where I need to be and what I need to be doing to be a servant, then I can't possibly be prepared yet for what God has planned for me.
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